Bella Hadid posts photos of herself from before she sought treatment for her mental health: ‘Smiling through the pain’

Bella Hadid is celebrating her “growth” after struggling with her mental health.

The model shared several photos and videos from late 2020 on Instagram, in which she sported orange and brown hair. In her post, she explained why she was sharing these particular images on her social media platform.

“Verified 1.5 years ago,” she began. “The week before I changed my whole life. She was smiling through the pain but giving absolute spiral-sitaaaaa.”

The 25 year old concluded the caption, “But she’s also giving GROWTH and I’m proud.”

Hadid’s followers praised her for her candor. Ouai founder Jen Atkin wrote, “I’m so proud for real. We’re all works in progress.” Amanda de Cadenet, who works with Hadid as a member of the VS Collective, shared, “Keep growing beloved @bellahadid.” Eldest sister Marielle Hadid added, “Love you so much. Proud of you!”

“My immediate trauma response is people-pleasing,” she told the magazine. “It literally makes me sick to my stomach if I leave somewhere and someone is unhappy with me, so I always go above and beyond, but the issue with that is that I get home and I don’t have enough for myself. I became manic. I bleached my hair. I looked like a troll doll. Then I dyed it — it looked like a sunrise. That should have been the first sign.”

Since attending the treatment program, Hadid said she now uses medication and talk therapy to manage her depression and other struggles.

“For so long, I didn’t know what I was crying about,” Hadid, who also suffers from chronic Lyme disease, added. “I always felt so lucky, and that would get me even more down on myself. There were people online saying, You live this amazing life. So then how can I complain? I always felt that I didn’t have the right to complain, which meant that I didn’t have the right to get help, which was my first problem.”

Earlier this year, Hadid also spoke to WSJ Magazine about how she would send photos of herself crying to her mother or doctor in order to explain how she was feeling when she was unable to name her emotions.

“It was the easiest thing for me to do at the time because I was never able to explain how I was feeling,” she said. “I would just be in excruciating and debilitating mental and physical pain, and I didn’t know why.”