Men and women have been cheating on their partners since time immemorial, but it seems that over the last few weeks the papers have been filled with stories of ageing male celebrities leaving their other halves.<\/p>\n
Take former Newsnight presenter Jeremy Paxman, who aged 66 has left his partner of 34 years and is now living with his 37-year-old researcher.<\/p>\n
Now I\u2019ve never met Mr Paxman, but I can tell you he ticks three of the boxes for someone who\u2019s more likely to cheat.<\/p>\n
Firstly, having a good education means perhaps you\u2019re better at seizing opportunities \u2013and covering your tracks.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n Career success sometimes indicates a driven personality, one who wants things their way \u2013 including having another man or woman.<\/p>\n And an intense work environment often goes hand in hand with a sense of camaraderie, leading to feelings that you and your colleagues understand each other the way a spouse doesn\u2019t.<\/p>\n Uh oh, soon sharing drinks a deux involves more than just a chat about how crazy your work is.<\/p>\n Here are the four main types of adulterer and the most common reasons cited for cheating.<\/p>\n The Revenge:<\/strong> Affair People have many reactions to discovering they\u2019ve been cheated on and one is to strike out and have an affair themselves. In their fury and pain they think, \u201cRight, I\u2019ll show you!\u201d For some couples it evens the score, but for most it plunges them even further into emotional chaos.<\/p>\n The Life-Changer Affair:<\/strong> This classically occurs in middle age when a person wakes up thinking, \u201cIs this it, is this all I can expect from my life and relationship?\u201d In a panic they seek excitement elsewhere. The divorce rate has never been higher among the 50-plus age group who fall victim to this. But it often happens when people face other life hurdles, such as The Opportunist:<\/strong> These affairs happen when opportunity is presented on a plate such as the out-of-town work conference, where drink flows and people are out of the normal environment. Usually these are one-offs and the cheat regrets it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The Risk-taker:<\/strong> This person is addicted to the buzz of infidelity. They love taking risks, feeling \u201calive\u201d when embarking on something illicit. They\u2019re repeat offenders with affairs and often have problems with sex addiction. Feeling neglected and bored in a relationship are two other big culprits leading to affairs.<\/p>\n 1<\/strong> How much less sex do you have now compared to a year ago?<\/p>\n A Almost non-existent now<\/p>\n B About half as much<\/p>\n C About the same<\/p>\n 2<\/strong> Have you\/they cheated in a previous relationship?<\/p>\n A Yes, I cheated in a previous relationship\/they have<\/p>\n B I have come close to cheating\/they have<\/p>\n C No, I haven\u2019t\/they haven\u2019t to my knowledge<\/p>\n 3<\/strong> Would you agree that you\/they are impulsive and act before thinking things through?<\/p>\n A Yes, I\u2019m definitely impulsive\/they are<\/p>\n B I\u2019m quite impulsive\/they are<\/p>\n C No, I think things through\/they do<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 4<\/strong> When angry, do you\/they storm off without sorting out the issue?<\/p>\n A Yes, I just want to get out of any argument\/they storm off<\/p>\n B Sometimes I want to escape when angry\/sometimes they do<\/p>\n C No, I try to work things out even when angry\/they do<\/p>\n 5<\/strong> Do you have very differing levels of sex drive?<\/p>\n A Yes, and it\u2019s caused lots of problems<\/p>\n B Sometimes we have mismatched sex drives<\/p>\n C No, we have very similar sex drives<\/p>\n 6<\/strong> Do you\/they daydream about what sex would be like with someone else?<\/p>\n A Yes, I do frequently\/I worry they do<\/p>\n B Occasionally I think about this\/I think they might<\/p>\n C No, not really\/I doubt they do<\/p>\n 7<\/strong> Do you\/they make up reasons to pass an attractive colleague\u2019s desk to chat? Do you\/they find ways to spend time with someone else you\/they find attractive, such as at your local pub or gym?<\/p>\n A Yes, I\u2019ve done this\/I\u2019m sure they do<\/p>\n B I\u2019ve been tempted to\/I think they might<\/p>\n C No, I wouldn\u2019t do this\/I don\u2019t think they would<\/p>\n 8<\/strong> Do you\/they lap up attention when someone pays you\/them a compliment?<\/p>\n A Yes, it gives me a real buzz\/I\u2019m sure they would<\/p>\n B It\u2019s quite nice\/I think they might<\/p>\n C No, I don\u2019t take those things seriously\/I don\u2019t think they would<\/p>\n 9<\/strong> Do you feel badly treated or neglected by your partner? Or would your partner feel this way about you?<\/p>\n A Yes, I definitely do\/I\u2019m sure they feel this way<\/p>\n B Sometimes I feel this way\/they might feel this way<\/p>\n C No, I don\u2019t feel like this\/they wouldn\u2019t feel like this<\/p>\n 10<\/strong> Do you and your partner still flirt with each other?<\/p>\n A No, any flirting stopped long ago<\/p>\n B Occasionally we flirt<\/p>\n C Yes, we flirt with each other<\/p>\n 11<\/strong> Do either of you throw out the \u2018D\u2019 word (divorce) in arguments?<\/p>\n A Yes, the \u2018D\u2019 word gets thrown around<\/p>\n B Once or twice it\u2019s been used<\/p>\n C No, we\u2019ve never used it<\/p>\n 12<\/strong> Do you secretly resent your partner and find it hard to express this or vice versa?<\/p>\n A Yes, I resent a lot of what they do and how they treat me\/I\u2019m sure they resent me<\/p>\n B Sometimes I do\/sometimes they probably do<\/p>\n C No, I try to express difficult emotions\/they express difficult emotions<\/p>\n 13<\/strong> How long have you been together?<\/p>\n A 4-11 years<\/p>\n B 1-3 years<\/p>\n C More than 12 years<\/p>\n 14<\/strong> Are you\/they coming to an age milestone such as 30, 40, 50?<\/p>\n A Yes<\/p>\n B Just passed one<\/p>\n C No<\/p>\n 15<\/strong> What level of career success do you\/they have?<\/p>\n A High achiever in my career\/they\u2019re a high achiever<\/p>\n B Mid-level success\/they have mid-level success<\/p>\n C Not much success\/they aren\u2019t that successful<\/p>\n 5+ As: High risk of infidelity<\/strong><\/p>\n You should be on red alert to improve things in your relationship, especially if you feel neglected, resentful and find yourself lapping up attention at work.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t continue to take each other for granted. Make it a daily habit to come up with small gestures and offer loving comments. Learn to spot when you\u2019re sounding negative, critical or harsh to your partner, and soften that voice.<\/p>\n Remind yourself why you originally fell in love \u2013 and tell yourself these reasons every day.<\/p>\n Start making special time for each other. Have proper dates, even if only once a month. If finances are tight, try a candlelit dinner at home with a romantic (or sexy) DVD.<\/p>\n Be aware of temptation. You might think it\u2019s a little ego boost to flirt at work, but the road to a fling is an easy one.<\/p>\n Be honest if you\u2019ve actually started flirting elsewhere. It\u2019s best to have a frank discussion with your partner and maybe between you, you can stop an affair. Confiding in a friend can help get you away from the flirtation.<\/p>\n Spontaneity definitely helps freshen things up, so occasionally bring home small surprises. They can be random and inexpensive, but show you\u2019re thinking of your partner.<\/p>\n Take time to look at photos from past holidays and happy times. Research shows a stroll down memory lane gives couple a renewed commitment to face difficult times. Resist sweeping things under the carpet \u2013 face them head on. And remember, neglect is a massive culprit. Put down your tech gadgets and carve out some time together.<\/p>\n If your sex life has disappeared, rekindle it slowly. You or your partner might harbour difficult feelings about this. Start with affection and see if you can coax each other into foreplay.<\/p>\n Get things sizzling between the sheets again by buying a sex guide and leaf through it together looking for ideas to try. Make it fun \u2013 flirt with each other and take turns choosing a new position to try.<\/p>\n Research shows couples get lazy and stick to the same tried and tested position \u2013 leading to bedroom boredom.<\/p>\n Have fun visiting a high street adult shop to look for some playful things, such as sex toys or sexy gear for each other.<\/p>\n Definitely let your partner know when you need straightforward cuddles and affection. Physical contact is crucial to stimulating emotionally-bonding chemicals like oxytocin.<\/p>\n 5+ Bs: Some risk of infidelity<\/strong><\/p>\n You or your partner are at moderate risk and it\u2019s time to assess how you can both improve things. Check out the advice above.<\/p>\n 5+ Cs: Low risk of infidelity<\/strong><\/p>\n Although you or your partner are at low risk, if you\u2019ve selected any \u201cA\u201d answers, for good relationship health see the above advice.<\/p>\n\n After Jeremy Paxman left his wife to move in with his researcher here’s how to tell and how to do something about it with relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr Men and women have been cheating on their partners since time immemorial, but it seems that over the last few weeks the papers have been filled …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[864],"tags":[1788,868],"yoast_head":"\n
\nhitting big birthdays \u2013 30 or 40 for example.<\/p>\nHow at risk are you or your partner of cheating? Take the test<\/h3>\n
How did you score?<\/h3>\n